And you just start to learn your body and getting it on your shoulders on to fuck… Like 18 year olds, let me hear you all in the audience! See y’all don’t know how to fuck yet, see. “AIDS?! But I’m not homosexual!” “Sure you’re not homosexual…”Īll the diseases scare me ‘cos I’m like these… these are fuck years for me, like I’m… I’m in my sexual prime, this, I fuck now! These are the years to fuck! This is when you do your best fucking. And go home with AIDS on their lips! And then when her husband, like five years later. One night they could be in the club having fun with their gayfriend, give them a little kiss. I say what’s next, I guess you just put your dick in it and explodes! And the girl would be on the bed: “Maybe I should see a doctor about it…” Kills people! It petrifies me ‘cos girls be hanging out with them. And now they got AIDS, that just kills motherfuckers.
Then they came out with herpes, you keep that shit forever like luggage. In the good old days, you got gonorrhea, you dick hurt, go get a shot, cleared right up. AIDS is scary ‘cos it kills motherfuckers, AIDS! That ain’t like the good ol’ days when venereal disease was simple. You know what’s really scary about it? That new AIDS shit. Ladies say: “Gay men are the best friends I have!” “‘cos they don’t want anything from you, you don’t want anything from them, you just hang out, you can be with them and get fun and just talk to them and all that bullshit, maybe hanging out with them. Really! Just after the game you say: “I’m gonna get a beer, what’s you gonna do?” “I think I’m gonna suck some guy’s dick.” “Well, I’ll see you later!” “You go suck that dick, I’m gonna have the beer.” Ladies are hip to it too. Them guys don’t feel, you know, alienated, like, gay people, ‘cos they’re gay. I don’t give a fuck if they’re… Just like I’m… I don’t mean anything by it. I kid the homosexuals a lot, ‘cos they’re homosexuals. You watch me! I know!” “So, Ralph, what are you gettin’ at?” “Norton, my friend! How would you like to fuck me up the ass?” “I know you wanna fuck me, Norton!” “And you know that I know that you know that I know that you wanna fuck me!” “Now I’m gonna bend over, and when I do, start fuckin’!” “Here I go!” “Way to go there, Ralphie-boy!” You know who would be a funny f a g g o t? Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton! Ralph Kramden leaning out the window and: “Norton! Come on down, I wanna show you somethin’!” “Ralphie-boy, whaddaya say there pal of mine ?” “You know Norton, I’ve been watching you. “You make me get get mad I clench up my buttcheeks and rip your dick off!” “Hey, boy, slow down ! You’re gonna miss the round, and come too fast !” “Now come on over here, and fuck me up the ass !” Really, and he’d be walking up to people going: I have this nightmare that I go to Hollywood and find out that Mr. So if they do see it, quick, you switch, they don’t get no long stares at your shit… …so that their imagination is flowing about my… I know when you’re looking, ‘cos my ass starts to get hot.
You don’t know where the f a g g o t section is, you gotta keep movin’. F a g g o t s aren’t allowed to look at my ass while I’m on stage! That’s why I keep moving while I’m up here. There’s some rules, I got some rules when I show down and I do my standup, I got rules and shit. Before I even get started how about a big round of applause for the Bus Boys. Filmed on Augat DAR Constitution Hall in Washington D.C.
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